Preemies

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy.""Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.""But does she have the patience?" asks the angel."I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy. "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." "And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Thought for today...

I can rest assured, that those who have hurt me had absolutely no idea of what they were doing and what was really going on.
It never occurred to them that I've become even more magnificent. That they'd be invoking my sympathy, adding to my compassion, and increasing my "sparkles." And it will still be eons before they can grasp that I've actually welcomed them into my life and played their little games for some of these very reasons.

Cute.

Retail Hell

I hate Walmart. But, ...it's 3 minutes away. SO, it is the store I visit most often mostly because it's a one stop shop. It gives me anxiety, lots of people that are undoubtedly going to stop mid aisle to talk to their neighbor from 10 years ago who moved away. Last night I needed to make a stop to pick up JR's (OMG I forgot to put him in my profile. Better go edit that....) Atenolol and some cough medicine. Well, I get there and decide to pick up a few more items; Humidifier, wipes, razors, laundry detergent, etc. OH! I also had to pick up Creatine for JR's friend....since I was out, you know...ahem. I go to get the RX and pull out my wallet to pay...where the fuck is my debit card?? Pulling out every card in that section of the wallet...nothing. Fucking wonderful, it's almost in the negatives outside, I do NOT want to leave and come back. So, I tell the clerk lady I will be back. I move to a bench by the pharmacy and sit down, tear my wallet apart. Oh, there it be - wrong section, upside down, and backwards (thanks Mia.) I stand up and flag down lady in pharmacy by window and she smiles at me knowing I am thanking the card God's that my debit was in there.

We continue doing our shopping and Brennan was being an excellent little man by sleeping thru the visit. Time to check out an hour or so and $192.00 later, heading to Self Checkout (I am really anti social at times) Bella helps me scan everything and I find my previous "lost card", slide it through. DECLINED. Jerk card. Try again. DECLINED. STUPID JERK CARD!!! I examine my card and realize it's the one that only had around $40 bucks on it. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Now I gotta get one of the Self Checkout cashier helper people to cancel my transaction so I can just get the cold meds and detergent. Oh, by the way, I had already had self checkout cashier helper person over to verify I was 18 so I could purchase my cough syrup. So, grabs lady and brings her over, explains the situation and she voids it all. I scan the only items I can get at that point - oh fabulous - have to scan the cough syrup again. Oh laddddyyyyyy!!!! Bella is crying because I couldn't get her DS game, literally on the floor sobbing. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!??! Walmart hates me, I swear.

Bella is calmed, I have my items and we are heading out the door finally. Windy, cold, and dark I am pushing the cart with Brennan in his carseat, holding his blanket over with one hand, pushing cart with the other. Where the FUCK is my car?!?! It's on the complete opposite side of parking lot. LOVES IT. Wiping tears from the wind away, we trudge on through the sloppy sludge of snow, shopping cart trying it's hardest to roll through the shit. I am not a big cryer, but I was thisclose to tears. As we are one aisle over from my car ( we went down the wrong one on the right side then) cart stops and won't move, next to a parked car. Bullshit, I am leaving it. LOL. Bella, get the back and my purse, I will get Brennan lets hit the road, yo!

Sleep with me...

There is a current debate going on in a mom loop that I own. Co-sleeping. You know what really pisses me off during "loop debates?" When people spout off words without researching the subject. Can you please argue something that you are familiar with or actually *know* something about?! After nine months (or earlier in some cases) in the womb, it's pretty shocking for baby to be deported to the nursery. In the first few months of babies lives, they rely on their senses to be comforted. The smell of mama, the sound of her voice, etc. If you are a breastfeeding mama, then co-sleeping usually makes a happy mama. Sleep deprivation from nursing an infant every hour and a half during the night is common and having baby sleep in bed with you gives extra moments of sleep that are incredibly worthwhile, especially when trying to function during the day (..and if you have other kids that need you!) When Brennan starts to get restless, I can whip out said boob and plug him in without him getting too agitated and he can go back to sleep easily and so can I. If there are a lot of night interference then baby will have difficulty establishing days/nights pattern. That being said (and I could say more) please don't consider our parenting style baneful. I'm a more content mama then ever b/c my baby son is next to me snuggled.

Sooo everyone is doing it...

...why can't I??? Blog, that is. I decided since I stay home with my children, why not blog about the humorous snippets of my day. I'm sure anyone would love to hear about the stupid things that make me laugh and smile. Sometimes the only thing to get me through a day is to have a sense of humor.

Shit, I forgot to give the baby his Prevacid. Be back later.